she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I need to sanitize my soul.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
