i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
