Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
