I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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