i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
