I think i peed on brittanys purse
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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