Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
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