she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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