the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Randomize
