How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
