So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
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