ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
