yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
