I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
