So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
