it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
