I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
