Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
