come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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