why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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