I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize