just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
