i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
