and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
