HIV tests are more positive than that guy
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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