so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
