Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Are we in a gay sports bar?
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
