What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Randomize