they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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