and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
