I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
