i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Dick very happy bro
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
