playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Then you guys just all showered together...?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
