Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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