Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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