My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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