You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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