I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
