omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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