Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize