weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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