Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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