My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize