i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
