your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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