There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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