Im at strip club and am horny
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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