So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
