My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
