It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
