I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
