Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize