I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Success! We fucked roommates!
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
