I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
