Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize
