Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize