so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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