That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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