i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
