Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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