$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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