I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Sext me about skeletons
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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