it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
