He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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