Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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