Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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