I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize