Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I would fuck him just for his dog
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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