the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
