Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
honey bunches of taint.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
