I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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